Dogs like apples

That is one ugly, red floor. I have 18 boxes of slate tile sitting in the garage (probably full of spiders!), but I just haven't gotten around to starting that project, despite my love of power tools and crowbars.

RIP big scary spider and little baby spider

I found a big rabid wolf spider in my garage. A rabid wolf spider looks different than a regular wolf spider, but it isn't dangerous. It just has a bad-ass name. It would have been cooler if the one in my garage had been alive, but at least it was nicely dried out, thanks to the recent lack of rain. Then, this morning, there was a tiny spider on my hand while I was in the shower. I instinctively shook it off, and it landed in the water. I tried to save it, but it drowned. It was a baby rabid wolf spider. But I doubt there was only one baby spider around, so I am happy to know that they are living in and around my house. (I don't think B feels the same way)

My mom always said that spiders in the house are good luck.

Today so far

1. I recently bought a bunch of cheap nose studs with different colored gems. This morning, after I finished putting in the red one, the jewel-part fell out. So I thought I would superglue it back in. I put a drop of superglue on the base (which was still in my nose) and then put the jewel in with my index finger and held it there for a second. When I tried to move my finger, I realized that I had glued both my finger, and my nose ring to my nose. I managed to free myself, but I'm feeling kind of dumb.

2. A colony of katydid nymphs has set up house on my marijuana-hibiscus. At first, I was completely charmed, because they're cute and I like most insects. But then I realized that my huge, impressive blooms were starting to look rather holey. Oh yeah, and in case you don't know about it already, this site is my absolute favorite. Especially check out the scorpion page for some truly nightmare-inducing photos. Or just google "Mexican tailless whip scorpion." Even the name makes me twitchy.

3. On my way to work this morning, I was sitting at a red light, singing along with my iPod, when I looked up and saw a CapMetro bus driver in the next lane leaning all the way out his window and waving frantically at me with a big grin. I waved back and he started making "roll down your window" motions at me. I did so, thinking there was something wrong, and he said "Hi!" I said "hi" back and he seemed satisfied and drove off.

I forgot I had these...

Thanks, B! I went to add more paperclips to my paperclip bowl and found them and thought to myself "oh yeah, I'm a superhero! I forgot!"

Poetry Thursday - not the usual!

I found this on Slate, of all places.

Removed at the Moment of Perfection

The earth has moved forward, in a sense, or does it merely turn

against itself? The trees have moved forward, putting forth
leaves, shade. But I have not moved forward though I was surely

moved. At the St. Regis Hotel, the butlers change fresh roses

that need no changing, butlers who are paid to notice the most
infinitesimal, the almost unseen, the earth turning towards

its own demise, too far off to be seen, myself all along hoping

for a longer winter to burrow in for just a few more months
instead of turning forty here in this world that you have left me

but the weather asks us to emerge, face the present conditions

we'd never have imagined, not to the dream of love returned
but of love withheld and its unsettling tensions as the earth

turns, no matter where we turn, the tension in the simultaneous

seasons moving across the face of the earth, in all the leaves
that will lose their shimmer, given time, while I wait inside

the unseen decay of a hotel room filled with a scent that lingers.

-Timothy Liu

Update, Part Two

So Chloe took the news better than I thought she would. She has been known to burst out crying for no reason whatsoever, so I was expecting some drama, but she was very calm. She asked why he died, was there any chance I could have died, and how big he was. She suggested that maybe I should adopt a baby so that I wouldn't be in any danger, so I had to reiterate several times that I wasn't in any danger. She wanted to know why we didn't name him, and I think my reasoning was a little abstract for her. She asked if she could call him Leo (I told her she could, although that wasn't his name). She seemed a little bewildered, and I think she'll probably have a lot more questions by next week. But I feel a lot better now that the worst is done.

So here is my joke:

Why is the tooth fairy so smart?

Because she has lots of wisdom teeth!

Ok, I know, not very funny. But it's really hard to find jokes about wisdom teeth.

Update, Part One

Yup, I'm getting my wisdom teeth out. September 15th is the big day. Luckily, I only have two because the bottom ones just never formed. However, I'm still not happy. It feels like I'm in some kind of medical office every other day lately. I know I'm grumpy, but I don't like doctors and I don't like dentists, and I'm tired of dealing with the medical profession, and I don't like people yanking things out of my head when they are securely attached. So there.

I will probably see Chloe today for The Conversation, so maybe I'll post an Update, Part Two later.

And since I'm so crabby, I'll post a joke to go along with it. Just as soon as I think of one.

But wait, it's only Tuesday!

Happiness

A man and a woman lie on a white bed.
It is morning. I think
Soon they will waken.
On the bedside table is a vase
of lilies; sunlight
pools in their throats.
I watch him turn to her
as though to speak her name
but silently, deep in her mouth--
At the window ledge,
once, twice,
a bird calls.
And then she stirs; her body
fills with his breath.

I open my eyes; you are watching me.
Almost over this room
the sun is gliding.
Look at your face, you say,
holding your own close to me
to make a mirror.
How calm you are. And the burning wheel
passes gently over us.

Louise Gluck

This doesn't really fit with my mood right now, but I liked it and was afraid I would forget to post it if I waited until Thursday. Anyway, it's not like I am going to run out of Lousie Gluck poems to post. The good news, however, is that I am almost finished with her fourth book of poetry, and I'm planning to take a break and read some other poets after that.

I'm feeling very prickly today, like all of my porcupine spines are out. That is especially bad today because I have a consultation with an oral surgeon this afternoon about getting my wisdom teeth taken out, and I already have a long history of altercations with those in the dental profession. I am not very patient with people who stick sharp objects in my mouth. Also, tomorrow I will see Chloe for the first time since school let out. She doesn't know what happened to the baby, and I am still getting drawings from her in which an arrow pointing at my stomach is prominently labeled BABY. I am dreading the conversation we will have, and all the questions I will have to answer. It's already a very difficult subject for me, and nine year olds aren't generally known for their tact and conversation skills.

Okay, now I'm rambling. Back to work.

Argiope

This beautiful spider has been living in a friend's oak tree. She has already laid one enormous egg sac and is reportedly getting ready to lay another.

We had an argiope living at our old apartment, but I haven't seen any at our new house which makes me sad. However, I think I might have seen two caterpillar hunter larva on one of our crape myrtles, so that is some consolation. I'm tired of only having nasty bugs like scorpions and ants around.

Saucha and a toothbrush?

Saucha: cleanliness of body, mind, environment and action. I'm working on it in small ways. This is the cleanest my cube has been since the day I moved in. I know it's still cluttered, but at least there are no longer any towering stacks of tea-stained papers and file folders.

Toothbrush: a souvenir from the Harry and The Potters show I had to miss last night. In case you can't read the text (click on the picture for a closer look), it says "Harry & The Potters Fight Evil & Tooth Decay!" I also have two t-shirts from a show last year - one says "Voldemort Can't Stop the Rock" and the other says "Save Ginny Weasly" with an outline of the basilisk. God, someone help me before I drown in my own nerdiness.