New toy

This is an exersaucer. We only let him play in it for about 20 minutes at a time. Any longer, and we're afraid his head might explode in joy.

Everywhere he goes

Saul is a charmer.

Poetry Thursday

Muzak

When old, do not let me bark
at passersby - let me be

like the slow motion, down-
the-street dog, ignoring

the cardinals, the colors
he cannot see, even us

as we tiptoe by-
Friend, please save me

from being the neighbors'
fool hound who woofs loud

at every grey squirrel, stray
noise, or lab rushing past

to meet some lady - from being
that cur who cannot help but howl

all night like newlyweds
keeping the world awake. O terrible

angel of the elevator, the plane,
insufferable unquiet we pray to, afraid -

Please make me mild

-Kevin Young

How was your Christmas?

Ours was wonderful. More later.

Christmas!

We haven't had that much Christmas spirit around our house. We did not decorate this year, or put up a tree, or put up lights. The only sign of the holidays are the window sills full of cards. But today I realized that it's only a few days away. So I am sitting at my desk, eating the orange-cranberry walnuts that a co-worker brought, listening to Bing Crosby, and working myself up into a holiday cheer.

I'm excited about Saul's first Christmas, although he, of course, has no clue what's going on. But the thought of the next several holidays with a young child is exciting. I can't wait to recreate the the magic that my parents always made for me and my sister. It's like being a kid all over again myself!

Anyway, we're off to Dallas tonight. Happy holidays!

Wildlife

An excellent shot of my father-in-law and a donkey.

Wow, retro

That's B on the far right, looking like someone dropped him off out of a brat pack movie.

Poetry Thursday

First Hour

That hour, I was most myself. I had shrugged
my mother slowly off, I lay there
taking my first breaths, as if
the air of the room was blowing me
like a bubble. All I had to do
was go out along the line of my gaze and back,
feeling gravity, silk, the
pressure of the air a caress, smelling on
myself her creamy blood. The air
was softly touching my skin and mouth,
entering me and drawing forth the little
sighs I did not know as mine.
I was not afraid. I lay in the quiet
and looked, and did the wordless thought,
my mind was getting its oxygen
direct, the rich mix by mouth.
I hated no one. I gazed and gazed,
and everything was interesting, I was
free, not yet in love, I did not
belong to anyone, I had drunk
no milk yet-no one had
my heart. I was not very human. I did not
know there was anyone else. I lay
like a god, for an hour, then they came for me
and took me to my mother.

-Sharon Olds

Alien love

Saul loves his alien cyclops

New plant

B and I won a lady slipper orchid at a purple elephant party we went to last weekend.

It will replace my other orchid at work, which isn't doing so hot after being without me for three months.

Missing my baby

I am surviving my first day of work, although just barely. Having a "holiday mixer" with yummy food and an awesome white elephant game (I got a Waterloo gift certificate!) helped.

Luckily, I have hundreds of pictures and videos of Saul to help me make it.

Lucky

Our fourth anniversary was yesterday, so we took Saul to see the Trail of Lights at Zilker Park. It was magical, just like it is every year, but even more so now that we have Saul with us. The bouncing motion in his Bjorn carrier usually puts him to sleep within minutes, so I was expecting him to be out before we even got there. But instead, he stayed awake and was completely enchanted by the lights. Sometimes I find it hard to believe my luck. I am married to the most wonderful person I have ever met, and I have this perfect little elf, who somehow adores me, even though I don't have the slightest idea what I'm doing.

Illustrated Poetry Thursday

To Boredom

I’m the child of your rainy Sundays.
I watched time crawl
Over the ceiling
Like a wounded fly.

A day would last forever,
Making pellets of bread,
Waiting for a branch
On a bare tree to move.

The silence would deepen,
The sky would darken,
As Grandmother knitted
With a ball of black yarn.

I know Heaven’s like that.
In eternity’s classrooms,
The angels sit like bored children
With their heads bowed.

-Charles Simic

We think maybe the % should be reversed

Spiffy

Although

It's easy enough to post a quick picture here and there since I know a certain great-grandpa is checking.

Taking a break

Since this is my last week home with Saul, I will be snuggling with my baby instead of posting.

See you next week!

Frustration

For over an hour, Saul refused to have anything to do with this 'nap time' business. The thing is, the longer he goes without a nap, the crankier he gets, and the harder it is to get him to go to sleep. It's a nasty circle that usually culminates in B getting stuck with a screaming baby all evening while I lay in the bathtub with a bottle of Advil, trying to tune him out.

Luckily, after putting up a worthy fight, he gave in. He is asleep right now and I am considering letting him miss his lunchtime in order to get a longer nap if he will cooperate.

Old pictures

My mom definitely had a little bit of a 'sexy librarian' thing going on in the 80s...

And I apparently had a thing for corn on the cob...

Poetry Thursday

An old favorite...

Get Drunk

Always be drunk.
That's it!
The great imperative!
In order not to feel
Time's horrid fardel
bruise your shoulders,
grinding you into the earth,
get drunk and stay that way.
On what?
On wine, poetry, virtue, whatever.
But get drunk.
And if you sometimes happen to wake up
on the porches of a palace,
in the green grass of a ditch,
in the dismal loneliness
of your own room,
your drunkenness gone or disappearing,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
ask everything that flees,
everything that groans
or rolls
or sings,
everything that speaks,
ask what time it is;
and the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock
will answer you:
"Time to get drunk!
Don't be martyred slaves of Time,
Get drunk!
Stay drunk!
On wine, virtue, poetry, whatever!"

-Charles Baudelaire

Dance

Saul's got rhythm.

Relief

Saul and I visited his daycare this morning for a test run. We hung out in the infant room for about three hours and met all the teachers and other babies. It has put my mind at ease. Everyone seemed really relaxed. They have no problem with doing cloth diapers for us, and in fact, one of their other babies is also in cloth diapers. The teachers were able to tell me all kinds of personal information about each of the kids, so they are obviously paying attention and getting to know the babies. This is a private daycare, rather than a chain, so it is very small. The director's office opens directly into the infant room and she was in and out all morning playing with the kids.

It is still going to be very hard to leave him. I expect I will cry the first day I leave him there. But I think I am at least comfortable knowing that he will be well taken care of.