7.15.2008

Real Simple. Really.

Some suggestions from Real Simple (July issue) on things I can do to make my life easier:
  • Throw a "dipping party" with four types of homemade dip and various crackers, crudites, and grilled shrimp and make the invitations by hand on rubber swim caps.
  • Buy some moisturizer so that I quit looking all wrinkly.
  • Get sclerotherapy, pulse dye laser treatments, and endermologie to rid my body of any reminder that I might have given birth.
  • Do an easy (their word, not mine) remodel on my bathroom by painting, putting up wall-paper, changing out mirrors, re-doing ceilings, buying all new accessories, and changing all the fixtures.
  • Make homemade coleslaw with caraway and raisins
  • Create a lovely and expressive flower arrangement using a cake stand, oranges, drinking straws, and daisies (I'm not even kidding)
  • Upgrade my wardrobe with 14 easy pieces, because I look sloppy and old.
And on the last page, an ad for Electrolux that just sums it all up: "A happy marriage. Great kids. A successful TV show. And now perfectly clean stemware. What more can I ask for?"

I don't know Kelly Ripa, what more can you ask for?

I think I'm starting to remember why I generally don't read anything outside of Cooking Light and the New Yorker.

3 comments:

MyUtopia said...

I want her outfit!

Shayne said...

Reminds me why I don't make a point to read anything I can't subscribe to with RSS and even then I take everything very lightly. Hindenburg Uncertainty applies to more than just electrons. When I did an interview with a local Fox reporter about the Wii game that is played similar to beer pong he started by describing a game that encourages kids to drink. On research it was evident that it was a game played similar to beer pong that never mentions beer or drinking in anyway. That however doesn't make as interesting of a story so the way the questions were asked could even imply the result the reporter wants. The old question example is asking someone "When they stopped beating their mother?"
I guess I just wonder how a magazine could be unbiased with so much money from sponsors and the nature of trying to decide what a reader would want to hear?

Steph said...

Well, all media is biased of course. I think we can agree on that - it's just human nature and also the nature of markets.

Thankfully, I think I am mostly resistant to the types of ridiculous expectations in these things. Kelly Ripa may not sell me a dishwasher, nor can she sell me an inferiority complex.