Whine

B and I are going to a fancy-ass wedding this weekend at the Driskill Hotel. I expect the wedding itself to be fun, and I'm very happy for our friends who are getting married. However. This means that I have to wear a dress. And not just any dress, but a dress that is appropriate to a black-tie optional fancy-ass evening wedding at a fancy-ass hotel.

I hate wearing dresses anyway. My philosophy on clothes is that you never know when you might need to climb a tree, so you might as well be prepared. Fancy dresses do not fit into my clothing philosophy. Nor do pantyhose, high-heeled shoes, or overly restrictive undergarments, all of which are usually required for fancy dresses. I would like demonstrate my belief in this philosophy by pointing out that I wore sneakers at MY OWN WEDDING.

I currently have four weddings to attend in the next few months. The other three aren't as fancy as this one, but I plan to complain as much as possible anyway. Just because.